Brawny/Will: (yo, yo, yo)

All:
I've been so many places
I've seen so many faces
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones
I've climbed up Smokey Mountain
Once or twice but who's countin'?
Cause nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones

Will:
Cool, calm, walk down the hall
With a couple of handouts inside my palm
Just got my con badge and a pin on my sleeve
(oooooh) But the visions i see so hard to believe
I can’t describe this vibe I get
When I walk by cosplayers their eyeballs lit
Aw shit, they started a mosh pit
Wash ya pits, my gosh, Josh is hit! (OW!)
These suits make me hallucinate
They must sweat so much they’re losing weight
How the hell is all this happenin’
Its like them dumb frat parties all over again
(ooooooohhh) They shout “FUN!, FUN! SO MUCH FUN” (Pinkie clones shouting fun)
*uzi fire* NO MORE I’m DONE
Yet it’s only Day 1 and I wanna run
There ain’t no escaping this pony armada son
Any norms here? Better ask around.
Pone cons throw the dankest bash in town
Brawn, your brother is passing out
Help me get him in the room ‘fore he crashes out!

Looney:
Buck that, Key’s crashed the con
And she’s throwing cash out like her mind is gone!
Keyframe:
Yo Loon, you see these plushies I added on?
Looney:
It’s gotta be done ‘fore your whole life’s withdrawn
Keyframe:
Yeah I spent the rest on getting my OC drawn
Now my arm and leg is gone!
Looney:
Nah, it’s probably numb
We run, gun and hardly eat none (Ecch!)
Just be lucky we don’t swallow our tongues
Keyframe:
Stupid ass, this vibe is too strong
You think I’m gonna die when I just got on?
Looney:
Oh you think I’m stupid?
You’re gonna get sick from those cupcakes and blue Mountain Dew shit! (Ewww)
Keyframe:
Yeah, I think I drank too much (uh huh)
This substance keeps me up (uh huh)
Those cheap burritos hit some
Oh shoot! Here it comes!

All:
I've been so many places
I've seen so many faces
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones
I've climbed the great Foal Mountain
Once or twice but who's countin'?
Cause nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones

By the dozen, thousands of us
Brony brothers, ladies love us
That's why we tolerate and love us when we hate each other
Our OCs wanna take the main six out and date each other
Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin'
I don't know

Brawny:
Hop halls, halls I hop
Hop two halls with pride I walk
Skip through lines like they’re made of chalk
(OOOOHHHH) Feeling so incredible how can I sulk?
But then I’m blown away by people actin’ crazed
Stigmas get renewed in just three days
When they overplay things will end up broke
My rage evoked from dealing with these drunken blokes
*enraged blubbering*
I’m not allowed to choke
He had an accident and his shoulders broke
Aww, poor baby, your judgment was hazy
Now I'm paying hospital bills (Brawn you’re crazy!)

Will:
Ill book four flights at one time!
And I don't need to budget when I'm planning out mine
(Hey, ya got a good room?) In the hotels back
I won’t go far from the penthouse flat (DAYUM!)
Why the hell you people think I rap?
Cause my mother said it’s cool to breach contracts
So do you have cash? I’ll sign pics too (yo chill!)
I'm just trynna get fame like you!
And I don't give a damn, I’ll keep acting rude
Con staff crew? To hell with you too
I only need to get paid then I’m through
Skip the last show I’m hittin’ Busch Gardens soon

All:
I've been so many places
I've seen so many faces
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones
I've climbed the Crystal Mountains
Once or twice but who's countin'?
Cause nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones

Brawny:
I'm at the rave working like a slave in a frolic
Dancing and sweating is chronic, bodies smell like vomit
Looney, Brawny, Keyframe, Thespi, dopey-headed guys
Roll up on the stage when Pinkie asks, (Wanna try?)
High thrill, lack of chill
Brawny’s now acting ill
Stunts kill (Yeah right)
Faceplants are real!
Help me up you gorgeous girl
Ill try again to rock your world
No? Well that’s alright
Cause I’ll be here all night!

All:
I've been so many places
I've seen so many faces
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones
I've climbed Canterlot mountain
Once or twice but who's countin'?
Cause nothing compares to these blue and yellow purple pones

By the dozen, thousands of us
Brony brothers, ladies love us
That's why we tolerate and love us when we hate each other
Our OCs wanna take the main six out and date each other
Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin', Somethin'
I don't know...screw it!
[Harmonica solo]